This was during the rains in 2005.
Medical Test - Everytime u travel abroad, u have to. I was in no mood to go for a medical test. I end up having at least 2-3 full medical tests in a year. Some because of travel and some because my doctor wants to fill his wallet by asking me to get a Cardiogram or Chest X-ray because i am having some headache. I was not happy with all these. This time, i had to go. No other way out.
I reported to Ranbaxy at 7.30 AM. At first sight they gave me the urine and stool containers, expecting me to do it right there. I informed, i have got it from home :-) They had to accept the shi*, cause i had taken everything in pre-cleansed containers, provided by them to my Travels department.
Everything was so very looking normal, until the Nurse came along with 6 test tubes and a tourniquet-like thing. Apparently, it looked as if she had changed roles with a Vampire. Women have an ill-reputation of having vampire-like traits. No, offences, but i have only heard. :-) She told me that she was there for blood test. I was so insistent on giving only 1 tube of blood, not more than 1, i can settle for 2, cry out loud and give 3, but definitely not 6. Somehow she forced her way to 6 tubes.
3 hrs was past, since i came in. All the tests were done. Only the post-glucose tests were left. For those who don't know what a post-glucose test is, here is an eye opener. They 'ADMINISTER' (Very rarely are you not treated like a specimen :-) ) you with some food and 30 mins after having the food, they do some tests to make sure that the post-glucose levels were also within the acceptable limits. I do not have very good memories of my previous Medical Tests, so I assumed that it would be a blood test. So i went to toilet, had my breakfast and then pee'ed again. I was waiting for the 30 mins to get over me. And then the attendant over the desk shrieked out my name. I noticed the agony in her face, as though something untoward had been detected in my previous tests. :-) I was only trying to be funny. She asked me if i had food. On a YES note from me, she handed me with the Urine kit again. I was not willing to take it from her, but she kept on insisting. I informed that i had already given my urine sample. Then she said something, listening to which i fell from the clouds. She said "have u given post-glucose urine sample". I was like, god. What is this? Why on earth has this to happen with me. I had just been to the Toilet. I debated with the attendant that its not possible for me to give samples because i was not pre-informed about a post-glucose urine test.
The people sitting around had already started giving dirty stares at us, as if fighting over pee'ing was something very insignificant to them. Well to them may be less significant, but when i am asked to Pee within 10 mins of going to the Toilet, its a real "Big Issue". I had no resort, but to take the container and then go to the Toilet. I had just opened my fly, when someone else barged in a hurry. He was having inquisitive eyes, as if hunting for something. In the Toilet, above the urinals, at the level of the eye, there was a continuous rack. Vertically above my urinal pan, I see that someone has kept a sample on the rack. I was not sure, if it was a mistake or intentional. On looking at this guy, one can make out that people doesn't do these mistakes intentionally. At the first sight, i wondered, if i could use this sample to fill in for me. But who knows, the other person might have just any disease. uff, i might get held up for nothing. I had to drop the plan and try something realistic.
This guy has already got in to his job. He was frantically searching for something. Meanwhile, i was busy praying to god for a few drops of Pee. I would sacrifice every possession in life for these few drops, such was the state. I have a strange problem everytime. Probably my voluntary muscles are sensitive towards presence of 'External' bodies. Its then, when i stop micturating. I cannot continue if i get concious that i am peeing with people around. Strange, but true. I have lived with this for ages. Now, this guy was literally searching even besides me. He was looking in to trash bins, beneath Urinals, On the Basin top, he was looking everywhere. The only place where he spared was between my legs. Thank God!! At least i felt so, who knows, he might have also searched there to his heart's content.
I had to chip in to his search. Excuse me, "are you looking for this?", with the sample (the one i picked up from the overhead rack) in one hand and maintaining my posture with the other hand. He gave a positive nod. To his glory, as if a Kid has been given a Toy for a gift. He was all smiles. I was too, cause at least i could concentrate on my bigtime job now.
All the dark clouds were gone, i could feel the silver lining behind them, as my Renal system was responding towards my 'ADHOC' request. The Container was filling in gradually. The ambience was full of joy, hope and delight. Like as if 79 Pigeons are being released to commemorate an independence. You can't enjoy this feeling unless you are a part of it. Do you fancy being in one?
Medical Test - Everytime u travel abroad, u have to. I was in no mood to go for a medical test. I end up having at least 2-3 full medical tests in a year. Some because of travel and some because my doctor wants to fill his wallet by asking me to get a Cardiogram or Chest X-ray because i am having some headache. I was not happy with all these. This time, i had to go. No other way out.
I reported to Ranbaxy at 7.30 AM. At first sight they gave me the urine and stool containers, expecting me to do it right there. I informed, i have got it from home :-) They had to accept the shi*, cause i had taken everything in pre-cleansed containers, provided by them to my Travels department.
Everything was so very looking normal, until the Nurse came along with 6 test tubes and a tourniquet-like thing. Apparently, it looked as if she had changed roles with a Vampire. Women have an ill-reputation of having vampire-like traits. No, offences, but i have only heard. :-) She told me that she was there for blood test. I was so insistent on giving only 1 tube of blood, not more than 1, i can settle for 2, cry out loud and give 3, but definitely not 6. Somehow she forced her way to 6 tubes.
3 hrs was past, since i came in. All the tests were done. Only the post-glucose tests were left. For those who don't know what a post-glucose test is, here is an eye opener. They 'ADMINISTER' (Very rarely are you not treated like a specimen :-) ) you with some food and 30 mins after having the food, they do some tests to make sure that the post-glucose levels were also within the acceptable limits. I do not have very good memories of my previous Medical Tests, so I assumed that it would be a blood test. So i went to toilet, had my breakfast and then pee'ed again. I was waiting for the 30 mins to get over me. And then the attendant over the desk shrieked out my name. I noticed the agony in her face, as though something untoward had been detected in my previous tests. :-) I was only trying to be funny. She asked me if i had food. On a YES note from me, she handed me with the Urine kit again. I was not willing to take it from her, but she kept on insisting. I informed that i had already given my urine sample. Then she said something, listening to which i fell from the clouds. She said "have u given post-glucose urine sample". I was like, god. What is this? Why on earth has this to happen with me. I had just been to the Toilet. I debated with the attendant that its not possible for me to give samples because i was not pre-informed about a post-glucose urine test.
The people sitting around had already started giving dirty stares at us, as if fighting over pee'ing was something very insignificant to them. Well to them may be less significant, but when i am asked to Pee within 10 mins of going to the Toilet, its a real "Big Issue". I had no resort, but to take the container and then go to the Toilet. I had just opened my fly, when someone else barged in a hurry. He was having inquisitive eyes, as if hunting for something. In the Toilet, above the urinals, at the level of the eye, there was a continuous rack. Vertically above my urinal pan, I see that someone has kept a sample on the rack. I was not sure, if it was a mistake or intentional. On looking at this guy, one can make out that people doesn't do these mistakes intentionally. At the first sight, i wondered, if i could use this sample to fill in for me. But who knows, the other person might have just any disease. uff, i might get held up for nothing. I had to drop the plan and try something realistic.
This guy has already got in to his job. He was frantically searching for something. Meanwhile, i was busy praying to god for a few drops of Pee. I would sacrifice every possession in life for these few drops, such was the state. I have a strange problem everytime. Probably my voluntary muscles are sensitive towards presence of 'External' bodies. Its then, when i stop micturating. I cannot continue if i get concious that i am peeing with people around. Strange, but true. I have lived with this for ages. Now, this guy was literally searching even besides me. He was looking in to trash bins, beneath Urinals, On the Basin top, he was looking everywhere. The only place where he spared was between my legs. Thank God!! At least i felt so, who knows, he might have also searched there to his heart's content.
I had to chip in to his search. Excuse me, "are you looking for this?", with the sample (the one i picked up from the overhead rack) in one hand and maintaining my posture with the other hand. He gave a positive nod. To his glory, as if a Kid has been given a Toy for a gift. He was all smiles. I was too, cause at least i could concentrate on my bigtime job now.
All the dark clouds were gone, i could feel the silver lining behind them, as my Renal system was responding towards my 'ADHOC' request. The Container was filling in gradually. The ambience was full of joy, hope and delight. Like as if 79 Pigeons are being released to commemorate an independence. You can't enjoy this feeling unless you are a part of it. Do you fancy being in one?
1 comment:
Hillarious...but at some places exaggerated..!
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