Why did you break my Heart?

And then it strikes when you're not thinking
Tears roll down your face before you know
And one day while you are busy dreaming
it snatches away all, you don't know what to do
Food has lost its taste, colors seem dull,
what mattered most doesn't anymore.
---- Penned by a budding poetess


Yes, you got it right. We have not assembled here doing postmortem of a break-up, but to re-iterate that life still exists beyond a dead relationship. This is a concious effort on part of the author to get the HOPE out from within us.


A few questions that I need to know
How you could ever hurt me so
I need to know what i've done wrong
And how long it's been going on
Was it that I never paid enough attention
Or did I not give enough affection
Not only will your answers keep me sane
But i'll know never to make the same mistake again
You can tell me to my face
Or even on the phone
You can write it in a letter
Either way i've have to know
Did I never treat you right
Did I always start the fight
Either way i'm going out of my mind
All the answers to my questions I have to find
---- Lyrics from "Never Ever" by All Saints


For many of us who has been a jilted lover (at some point of time) these questions must have passed our mind several times. Now the Million Dollars question. What went Wrong?

We meet, feelings intensify and we fall in love. Our dreams and plans start fostering around this one person whom we have just started to know. This aura of possession plunges us in to an abysmal dependence. And then someday we find ourselves at loggerheads. We fight, we sulk and we make up. We COMPROMISE. Love Wins??

For something which was meant to be unconditional, we patch it up making negotiations. Several Moons later when we have changed completely to adapt to our partner's convenience, lightning strikes out of nowhere. The castle of our dreams crumbles to dust.

Any separation is hardly mutual. Thanks to the figment of our imagination that even in those difficult times we manage to put a sugary coat on this seeping pain to brand it as an "amicable mutual decision" - because that's socially more acceptable. Remember!! Its always one partner, who drifts far away from the feeling of togetherness and finally breaks the NEWS.

Needless to mention what the counterpart goes through. The more you get swept away by your blossoming love, the tougher it is to put your life back in to track. Who is to BLAME?

There is no excuse my friend
for breaking my heart
breaking my heart again
---- Lyrics from "Breaking my Heart" by Michael Learns to Rock


Apparently ambitions, compromises, selfishness and inquisitiveness to explore someone new take its toll on most relationships. The blame cannot be attributed to a person but grossly to the society and the way it's heading to. What pines me the most, is the fate of the jilted partner. The left-out lover then sets out to get back their precious possession. If they succeed, its only a matter of time before they fail again.

What is ironic in this context is most of us take it as a personal failure. Being sensible is realizing the fact that a relationship is like any other job opening where the resourcing manager always looks for the best available fit. So it's likely that at this moment we don't fit in to our partner's plans anymore. That doesn't make either us or the sly lover any bad. It's a simple case of preference and priority. Usually we go to any length to get the partner back. And in the process we plead, we beg. What eludes my understanding is we successfully manage to do this, when a few fortnights back we were speaking of esteem, respect and equality in the same relationship. I am not saying that we should not try to save our relationship, but there is a thin line between trying and begging and we often end up flirting with that. We start analyzing that probably some set of our traits might have put our partner off. We don't stop there, based on that speculation, we throw promises of never repeating those set of behavior which might have been unwelcomed by our other half. All these without even knowing if it really matters to the other person for a true comeback. We are not a whimsical king Melenaus who would attack Troy to get back his wife Helen, only to learn that eloping was her own choice.

The aftermath? The rosy life of the recent past looks so unbearable and unlivable without the partner. Hey, which partner are you speaking of? The one whom you had dreams with, or the one who traded your sentiments? The former is for sure dead. And the new avatar is shockingly insensitive to your needs. Put your feet down; at least have some dignity for yourself. Uphold your plummeting self-respect. You knew the formula to sustenance even before you met your partner. YOU ARE SINGLE, NOT SICK.

What i am trying to establish is that, Separation need not always be agony. Think of it as an opportunity to revisit your true self. Develop newer tastes and indulge yourself. Least dissipate your energy over split milk, for milk which didn't even belong to you. The last things that your partner deserves are your tears. Don't spend them for an insensitive heart. Your partner put in a lot of effort to get out of this relationship. WHERE WAS THIS ZEAL AND PASSION WHEN IT CAME TO SAVING THIS RELATIONSHIP?? Ask yourself, i am sure you will carve your way out to a healthy living. At the end of the day, the last thing we need is someone who plays with our heart and let's not give them a feeling that they actually succeeded in doing it.

Wake up every morning as if it were on purpose. Life is not about number of times we breathe; it's about the moments that take our breath away. Enjoy every moment with a renewed zeal. Treat yourself with the best. We love, we fail and we love again. Importantly, We live!!

These are words from the pining heart of a friend who had a similar experience in the recent past.

Life's ways are so confusing
Days of happiness come out of the blue
and when you think life's amusing
Days of sadness creep on you

You find an act so fascinating
Smiles and laughter make you glow
And then IT strikes when you're not thinking
Tears roll down your face before you know

You meet your love, so loving and so caring
Who spins a dream, oh so old.. yet so new
And one day while you are busy dreaming
IT snatches away all, you don't know what to do

One day, some day I'm just praying
Life looks pretty with the sun, the moon, the stars, the sea and the rainbow
One day, some day I'm just hoping
I understand the ways of life.. I surely hope so!


Did it break your heart??


---- The author has used "You" frequently to make the voice more active. This was an effort to focus on the brighter side of human life blurred by a dead relationship. In the article above, the author has tried his best to be sensitive towards both parties involved in a break-up.

tag: 10 Simple pleasures of life, mind boggling names

"Here I am, This is me, There's nowhere else on earth I'd rather be"
--Bryan Adams

There's nowhere else on earth I'd rather be. Being a hedonist, i fancy being immersed in my pleasures.
And for whatever reason i am here tagging my pleasures, i am not liking it. Well, Pleasures are a secret!!
Guess why? Simple!! Cause, this is not any pleasure. And if you are dying to know as to who bullied me in to this, then You better ask Survon.
God forgive her, because i AM NOT going to. She doesn't know what she is doing (Re-iterating same words as Jesus did,during his crucification)

"Name 10 of life's simple pleasures that you like the most, then pick 10 people to do the same. Try to be original and creative; try not to use things that someone else has already used."

So here is the much wanted dossier on this hedonist indulged in true pleasure. Here is what the Royal Bengal tiger likes to be with

1) Talking. I love talking. I can talk (I meant, i can talk "sense") for hours altogether. Any listeners?
2) Eating. Just cannot resist. Call me a gourmet. (I am strictly against eating Monkey Brains)
3) Medidating (aka Sleeping)
4) Outdoor Games. Be it any game, i am in for it. Survon bullies this sportsman saying that "you are too serious on a sportsfield, you always want to win". I asked, "show me one person who wants to lose?". She was MUM. :-) I can lose to my wife/girl friend and kids only, nowhere else :-)
5) Photography. I love being with my two bags full of cameras. Oh sorry, thats misphrasing. I have two bags, the cameras are so big that the bags look full. Thats more like it!!
6) Travelling. be it India or Abroad, you always have me in your gang, when you are travelling or even talking about travel. Oh yes, that reminds me, I love TALKING
7) Getting Bullied. I am getting used to getting bullied. Infact thats my favourite pasttime these days. Ask Survon.
8) Idling. Lying like a dead fish, dreaming, thinking, philosophies, in a trance. Bet, thats a lot of work.
9) Cooking. I can cook everything other than Round Shaped Roti's. That doesn't mean that you are invited to my place for dinner.
10)Socialising. Now this one is a real sitter. I am giving ideas to you folks, but i don't mind. Yeah, i am good and happy with any and every kind of socialising. I am very much a social animal. Wanna Try?

Now that i am done with it, I don't want to victimise anyone passing over the onus of listing their pleasures :-)
Whoa!! I am breaking a Chain Reaction. Got Guts, Baby!!

Dare to send me a forward again??

Once upon a time, Survon sent me a forwarded email. That was the last email that she had ever forwarded to anyone. Don't ask me why, better go through this.

----- Message from Survon on Mon, 9 Oct 2006 09:10:25 -0700 (PDT) -----
To: Close2Reality@ZZZ.com
Subject: Fwd: Agree? hehe......

Lessons in Logic


If your father is a poor man,
it is your fate but,
if your father-in-law is a poor man,
it's your stupidity.

........................................................................

I was born intelligent -
education ruined me.

........................................................................


Practice makes perfect.....
But nobody's perfect......
so why practice?

.......................................................................


If it's true that we are here to help others,
then what exactly are the others here for?

........................................................................


Since light travels faster than sound,
people appear bright until you hear them speak.

........................................................................


How come "abbreviated" is such a long word?

........................................................................


Money is not everything.
There's Mastercard & Visa.

........................................................................


One should love animals.
They are so tasty.

.......................................................................


Behind every successful man, there is a woman
And behind every unsuccessful man, there are two.

........................................................................


Every man should marry.
After all, happiness is not the only thing in
life.

.......................................................................


The wise never marry.
and when they marry they become otherwise.

........................................................................


Success is a relative term.
It brings so many relatives.

........................................................................


Never put off the work till tomorrow
what you can put off today.

........................................................................


"Your future depends on your dreams"
So go to sleep

........................................................................


There should be a better way to start a day
Than waking up every morning

.......................................................................


"Hard work never killed anybody"
But why take the risk

........................................................................


"Work fascinates me"
I can look at it for hours

........................................................................


God made relatives;
Thank God we can choose our friends.

........................................................................


The more you learn, the more you know,
The more you know, the more you forget
The more you forget, the less you know
So.. why learn.


........................................................................

A bus station is where a bus stops.

A train station is where a train stops.

On my desk, I have a work station....
what more can I say.......

---------Close2Reality@ZZZ.com Replied-------------------------

Agreed
Looks like, this content below reflect all charismatic philosophies of your life, in particular

I guess you are at your WORK-STATION now, Where your WORK has stopped, right?
Now i know as to why you get in to sleep every now and then, you are catching up with your dreams for the future, aren't you? This explains why you are such a lazy bu*, you never risk to get in to hard work, who knows it might kill. No doubts that "works fascinates you", you can stare at me working for hours. Quite possible that you were not ruined from your toddler days, I blame it all to education. It all shows your reluctance to do any-work with perfection. "Nobody's Perfect", huh!!
I have seldom come across bright faces like yours. ahem!! only till you had opened your mouth. I didn't know that all your love for animals were because of your cullinary tastes. "Tasty", erghhhhhh.
So this was the secret why you put off work everyday and not wait for "tomorrow"? And lastly, I have this strong feeling, now that you have your mastercard and visa, can you be generous enough to give me all your Money?

I didn't know this day would be such a Milestone when i would come to know so much about "You" and "Yourself". I am not sure, if you had this much of an insight to critically look in to yourself. I am glad that i have assisted. If you happened to know more about yourself only today, then i say, "don't get overwhemled with this mamoth discovery of information". I can be instrumental in digging more staggering facts later.

Try to have a good time for the rest of the day. You need more than good luck for it!!
Ciao

Can anyone help me?

Being in an IT consultancy company for 7 years now, i have got several forwarded emails where "Users" show off their lack of mind to customer care or call centres. I have always dreamt if i could be a real "dumb user" (What an Unusual Fantasy!!). I plan to be so much dumb, that the customer care professional who handles me, goes back to his/her friends and laughs their heart out. And finally, i do it. I think, i made this guy's day. Check it out for yourself!!

This is about a dating portal in India, where from people choose girl/boy friends or their soul-mates. I had been to one of them recently. I landed on to the payment page, and didn't feel like proceeding, after seeing the humoungous amounts for a paid membership, that too in Dollars. I shifted my attention towards other windows in my computer, the payment page remainded unattended. As, i was there in the payment page for more than 5 mins, a Customer Care Professional came by to help. The rest of the Journey is hilarious.


To maintain confidentiality, the names of the people, places and objects involved have been changed. Nonetheless, the author has given every bit of effort to keep intact, the whole charm of the conversation.



Ramy: Welcome to YourFunDate.com. I am a Live Help Operator. How may I help you today?
you: hello
Ramy: Hi
Ramy: Are you interested in Paid Membership?
you: yes, i am
you: but why am i getting the amount in dollars?
Ramy: Where are you residing?
you: india of course
you: i go around travelling a bit
Ramy: Your FunDate ID pls?

(My response is Censored to Maintain Privacy)

you: But i do not have a credit card
you: i wish to use my icici bank account to pay, is it possible?
Ramy: Do you have debit card?
you: no
you: i have an ATM card
you: i didn't change it for a debit card
you: someone told me that its risky to have one. Especially, when people are doing "Phising" and like things.
Ramy: In which city are you residing?
you: Mumbai
you: i belong to Calcutta though
you: kharagpur, to be precise
Ramy: You can make the payment in our Mumbai office
at the following address
Ramy: YourFunDate.com,
Ramy: 505, Centre Point,
Ramy: Andheri-Kurla Rd,
Ramy: Near Kohinoor Continental Hotel,
Ramy: Andheri East,
Ramy: Mumbai - 400 059.
Ramy: mumbai@YourFunDate.com
you: why cannot i pay, using the Internet?
you: say, if i can use my friends' debit card
Ramy: You can make the online payment using your credit card or debit card
you: my friend has one, can i use his?
you: i asked him today
you: he is willing to lend me for this purpose.
Ramy: Then you can make the payment through them
you: how about the dollar thing? Why is the payment showing in Dollars?
Ramy: From where are you accessing the site now?
you: my computer, offcourse!!
you: its a global support machine
Ramy: At present are you in india?
you: no
Ramy: Kindly note that the payment details will be shown in dollars if you access it from outside india
you: ah!!
you: when will it be shown in Indian rupees?
Ramy: If you access the site from india, then it will be
you: how does ur website know that i am outside India?
you: its me who told u, if i didn't tell you, how would you know?
you: first i thought, it was showing me dollars because of my overseas location. I changed it back to mumbai then
you: But, still its showing me in dollars
Ramy: Kindly note that the payment details are shown based on your IP address
you: what is my ip address?
you: God!! how do i change it now?
Ramy: Sorry! it cannot be changed
you: why do you think so?
you: i thought i can change my address anytime. Did you not change address anytime?
you: sorry, i am not quite following you
you: can you be a bit fast, i am feeling sleepy
Ramy: Sorry! the ip location will be displayed according to place from where you access the site
you: Now i am worried. I wonder, how did you get my address? How did you know which place i am accessing the site from
you: i didn't mention it anywhere in your website
you: Hello Ramy, i am having a bit of jet-lag
you: can you be a bit faster, thanks
Ramy: It will be displayed according to the location you access the site
you: did you like hack my computer to know my location information?
Ramy: Can you please be clear
you: I wish i could request you, the same
you: I am a bit confused now.
you: Can you please tell me, how to go about changing my address
you: i am sure there must be a means in the site to change the address
you: my friend did it once. He categorically mentioned it to me before.
you: Huh!! You cannot fool me with your tricks. I am Darn Sure, the address can be changed.
Ramy: Sorry! it is not possible to change it and we dont have any idea in this regard
you: god!! what kind of website is this? in icici.com site, i change my address whenever i changed place
you: and its me who always requests for an address change, they never know where i am using their website from
Ramy: You can change the residence address in the site, but your ip address details cannot be changed
you: so, who can help me change the ip address?
you: do i have to write to customer services?
Ramy: Kindly note that the ip address will be displayed according to your location
you: You have told this thing to me before, several times. Please tell me something new.
you: but there should be a way to change it right?
Ramy: Sorry! The ip address cannot be changed, as it is displayed according to the location
you: I am a bit worried now
you: I have such an address which cannot be changed
you: Thats sounds very weird to me
you: and it depends on the location, uh!!
you: what do i do now?
you: how do i pay for the membership in Indian Rupees?
Ramy: You can make the payment through your friends or relatives residing in India to make the payment in INR
you: Thats bad
you: This whole dating thing is pretty private to me. I don't want to announce it to all my friends and relatives
you: and at the same time, i need to Pay for this membership. I am getting older now
you: I need to find a girl for me
you: do i write to customer services,if they can help?
Ramy: You can also send the payment to our branch office in India
you: Through post, you mean?
Ramy: yes, you can send it through cheque, DD or MO
you: ok, great
you: One last thing
you: Can i ask you a favor?
Ramy: Yes, tell me
you: thanks
Ramy: Welcome
you: May be you are that guy, who breaks the rules just once. Can you not get my work done somehow. I mean, get me membership by paying in Indian Ruppes now?
you: I mean, my cheque will reach india after a long time, if i send through post
Ramy: Sorry!! You can ask your friends or relatives to make the payment on behalf of you
you: Know what? I have to write emails to a girl i like in your website. She is pretty cute. I fear, i might lose her
you: In these disastrous circumstances too, You seem very tough on me.
Ramy: You can upgrade your profile and contact all the interested members
you: thats what, the problem is. its taking time for me to upgrade my membership.
you: you understand, right?
Ramy: Yes, but we can only guide you in making the payment
you: ok, i will write to my relatives. Let me see, if i can get a girl friend. Its so tough to chat with someone from ur website
Ramy: Once you become a paid member you can contact all the interested members
you: Thank you for your time. If i need your help, i will write to u
Ramy: Welcome
Ramy: Thanks for using our service!!!
Ramy: Please do not hesitate to contact us at anytime. We are here 24 hours a day, 7 days a week.
you: But how?
you: how do i reach you?
you: you must have an email address
you: oh, i remember now.
you: so next time, i have to wait for 5 minutes at the payment page, before i get hold of you, right?
you: and i ask for Ramy? What is your full name, again?
Ramy: You can also click on Live help at the top right side of YourFunDate.com page to chat with us
Ramy: I am Ramy
you: but I have a problem. i don't want to explain this whole scenario to anyone from scratch again
you: its cumbersome. Can you prepare something like a case-file?
Ramy: You can contact us at anytime
you: may be i will save this whole chat somewhere, and then next time i speak to any of your customer care officers, i just copy-paste it. what do say? good idea?
Ramy: You can do it
you: what is your email id? where are you chatting from now?
Ramy: Chennai, India
you: it must be quite late there
you: i am feeling very sleepy now. Are you sleepy too?
you: Chennai is a nice place. i have been there. Only Summers and Winters are not good there. And it has two rainy seasons. Rest of the year, its good out there.
you: Its very beautiful. I like ur place
you: have you been to kharagpur, i was born there. I grew up as a kid in that town.
you: its a nice place too
Ramy: Ok fine
you: Doesn't look like, that you are typing really fast. I have to say that You are very slow
you: or are you chatting with many friends at the same time?
Ramy: We are chatting with many members now
you: Oh Good. I learnt typing, 3 years back.
Ramy: Ok
you: you continue chatting with your friends. I have to go to sleep now
Ramy: Thanks for using our service!!!
you: Yeah, it was not that great though. It was of no use to me after all.
you: You have a good night
Ramy: Please do not hesitate to contact us at anytime. We are here 24 hours a day, 7 days a week.
Ramy: Bye
you: yes yes. no problems. I will ask your service, if i am in problems again
you: you are very nice
Ramy: You are always welcome

CPI(M), LIES AND GANASHAKTI

June, 2003: Shakespeare Sarani, Kolkata
I kept looking on as the traffic lights toggled from red to green and back to red. Past 50 minutes, i have been stranded on the same co-ordinates, without moving much. I am in a Bus, in the heart of Kolkata. My ride was heading towards Downtown Kolkata, until we got tangled in this mess of urban traffic. Brine slided past my cheeks. These are not tears of joy, invoked by reunion with my motherland, after a year. I was sweating profusely, trying to keep up with the humidity of the "city of Joy", as Kolkata is often refered to. The sweltering heat, sticky sweat, cluttering of vehicles, the cacophony of honks took its toll on me. I cannot believe, this is where i waited for a year to be in.

With time, news started floating in, as to why this whole gamut of populace was stuck here. The revelation didn't sound new to me. The CPI(M) (The ruling Communist Party) was flouting a procession near Maidan (a Huge Parade ground in the downtown), resulting in this mayhem. Little were they considerate to have thrown the whole traffic out of order. This is not the first time, I am used to these pedestrian theatrics from my very childhood. These people have contributed incessantly towards new name of Kolkata, "Michhil Nogori" or "The city of processions".

"What Bengal thinks today, India thinks tomorrow", this bit of text in the history books made me so proud. As a teenager, I used to flaunt being a Bengali, but not any more. The ruling CPI(M) party has done nothing, but to eat up the very base of a heritageous Bengal. Unemployment, Poverty, Illiteracy has become rampant over the past decade. The voice of the Mass Media is under question. Print Media has become mouthpieces of political parties, probably that was the only survival strategy left to them.

I leaned on to the window, thinking of the Bengal my dad would have got as a heritage. I feel sorry that i cannot give my kids, a better one. The inception of politics in educational institutions can only be attributed to the CPI(M). I can still remember, how aimlessly the teenager comrades used to roam around in my school premises. I am not sure, if at that age, anyone has the maturity to understand politics and get in to it. But some of my folks were very much in to it, much like misguided missiles. I have seen my seniors leaving Bengal for a clean, hassle free living. The bureaucracy has smothered every entrepreneur causing job cuts and factory close-downs. At times, people were left with no resort, but to be a vassal to CPI(M). The situation was even worse in the countryside. People saw bread only before elections. No-one ever dared to fight a CPI(M) candidate in an election. The defaulters were outcaste and ripped off their decent living. Ah!! I am sure, so many of us have experienced this before. Someway or the Other. I am amazed to see no opposition to this pilferage. Probably we have accepted this way of living; probably, no intellect is willing to take off their blue collars to ward this dirt off.

I was lost in an abyss of Depression. I broke my trance when something soft caressed my hairs. There was this boy wrapped in old rags, selling the daily "Ganashakti" (Meaning, the strength of the common Man), the mouthpiece of CPI(M). My imminent reflex was to buy one. Not to know what the polit-bureau was trying to voice, but much to help out the desolated boy in his living. I was browsing through the pages randomly, like a kid. All that caught my eyes were pictures of a Golden Bengal, the best state-of-art infrastructure, Dreams. I imagined, how long can people keep their eyes shut to an imminent disaster.

Ganashakti is not a newspaper, its the voice of CPI(M). Any News which is biased or seen through colored glasses is not good to cater. It creates misimpression in minds of the public. And thats what the modus operandi of "Ganashakti" is. Its intended to cripple the minds of CPM cadres who would not be left with the power to think anymore and make themselves available at the beck and call of their Big Ducks. In every page, you will come across news from the CPI(M) fortress properly picked, pickled and spiced up to portray the "Messiah" and "Philanthropist" image of CPI(M), which is a far cry. CPI(M), these days is reduced to a ruthless exploiter who can do anything to meet their selfish needs, and that's what the grim reality is. They have made the population so much crippled with their 26 years of rape of democracy, that no-one has the fist to fight and revolt. The philosophy of Communism which started off with Jyoti Basu taking oath as the Chief Minister, died in a few years and all the steps taken by the CPI(M) government to exercise democracy has only curbed industrial growth and fostered local goons within the cadre fraternity. CPI(M), is far from a sweet dream anymore. They are a nightmare, a barrier in the path of modern Bengal.

If i had to rename Ganashakti, i would happily do it as "Ganashatru" (The enemy of the common Man)
The devil has ruled Bengal for over 26 years now. Intellectuals everywhere have been left stunned about the stagnant mind of Bengalis. Have we compromised with such kind of a living. Or are we all Dead?

--CPI(M) is the Communist party of India, Marxist. They are provincial to the states of West Bengal and Kerala. In West Bengal, they came in to power in 1977, and has remained undefeated till now. The author does not have a bias for any political party.

Testing Times

This was during the rains in 2005.
Medical Test - Everytime u travel abroad, u have to. I was in no mood to go for a medical test. I end up having at least 2-3 full medical tests in a year. Some because of travel and some because my doctor wants to fill his wallet by asking me to get a Cardiogram or Chest X-ray because i am having some headache. I was not happy with all these. This time, i had to go. No other way out.

I reported to Ranbaxy at 7.30 AM. At first sight they gave me the urine and stool containers, expecting me to do it right there. I informed, i have got it from home :-) They had to accept the shi*, cause i had taken everything in pre-cleansed containers, provided by them to my Travels department.

Everything was so very looking normal, until the Nurse came along with 6 test tubes and a tourniquet-like thing. Apparently, it looked as if she had changed roles with a Vampire. Women have an ill-reputation of having vampire-like traits. No, offences, but i have only heard. :-) She told me that she was there for blood test. I was so insistent on giving only 1 tube of blood, not more than 1, i can settle for 2, cry out loud and give 3, but definitely not 6. Somehow she forced her way to 6 tubes.

3 hrs was past, since i came in. All the tests were done. Only the post-glucose tests were left. For those who don't know what a post-glucose test is, here is an eye opener. They 'ADMINISTER' (Very rarely are you not treated like a specimen :-) ) you with some food and 30 mins after having the food, they do some tests to make sure that the post-glucose levels were also within the acceptable limits. I do not have very good memories of my previous Medical Tests, so I assumed that it would be a blood test. So i went to toilet, had my breakfast and then pee'ed again. I was waiting for the 30 mins to get over me. And then the attendant over the desk shrieked out my name. I noticed the agony in her face, as though something untoward had been detected in my previous tests. :-) I was only trying to be funny. She asked me if i had food. On a YES note from me, she handed me with the Urine kit again. I was not willing to take it from her, but she kept on insisting. I informed that i had already given my urine sample. Then she said something, listening to which i fell from the clouds. She said "have u given post-glucose urine sample". I was like, god. What is this? Why on earth has this to happen with me. I had just been to the Toilet. I debated with the attendant that its not possible for me to give samples because i was not pre-informed about a post-glucose urine test.

The people sitting around had already started giving dirty stares at us, as if fighting over pee'ing was something very insignificant to them. Well to them may be less significant, but when i am asked to Pee within 10 mins of going to the Toilet, its a real "Big Issue". I had no resort, but to take the container and then go to the Toilet. I had just opened my fly, when someone else barged in a hurry. He was having inquisitive eyes, as if hunting for something. In the Toilet, above the urinals, at the level of the eye, there was a continuous rack. Vertically above my urinal pan, I see that someone has kept a sample on the rack. I was not sure, if it was a mistake or intentional. On looking at this guy, one can make out that people doesn't do these mistakes intentionally. At the first sight, i wondered, if i could use this sample to fill in for me. But who knows, the other person might have just any disease. uff, i might get held up for nothing. I had to drop the plan and try something realistic.

This guy has already got in to his job. He was frantically searching for something. Meanwhile, i was busy praying to god for a few drops of Pee. I would sacrifice every possession in life for these few drops, such was the state. I have a strange problem everytime. Probably my voluntary muscles are sensitive towards presence of 'External' bodies. Its then, when i stop micturating. I cannot continue if i get concious that i am peeing with people around. Strange, but true. I have lived with this for ages. Now, this guy was literally searching even besides me. He was looking in to trash bins, beneath Urinals, On the Basin top, he was looking everywhere. The only place where he spared was between my legs. Thank God!! At least i felt so, who knows, he might have also searched there to his heart's content.

I had to chip in to his search. Excuse me, "are you looking for this?", with the sample (the one i picked up from the overhead rack) in one hand and maintaining my posture with the other hand. He gave a positive nod. To his glory, as if a Kid has been given a Toy for a gift. He was all smiles. I was too, cause at least i could concentrate on my bigtime job now.

All the dark clouds were gone, i could feel the silver lining behind them, as my Renal system was responding towards my 'ADHOC' request. The Container was filling in gradually. The ambience was full of joy, hope and delight. Like as if 79 Pigeons are being released to commemorate an independence. You can't enjoy this feeling unless you are a part of it. Do you fancy being in one?

Back with a Blow

I am back, still alive and kicking better than before. Its been long. I can't say that "Its been a long wait", cause i know no one waits for anyone. I meant, who gives a shi* if i write or not, if i blog or not. Its always good to have a fair assesment of how much you are wanted by others, or else you end up running after the wrong girl, who doesn't care even if you give up your life :-)

Well, i tried to look a bit funny. I don't know if its my lack of Humour or your sense of understanding that you couldn't understand me :-) Easy folks!! I am not gonna victimise you. Well i pull legs a lot, a load, i should have said.

Where was i? Oh yeah, i recall, "coming back to blog after long, and who gives a shi*" kind of discussion, wasn't i? I can hear you say "YES". I feel as if, i were a Rock Star on stage and you cheering for me. Ok, now don't start analysing my dreams. Its a sheer wastage of time.

Yes, i wanted to let you know that i am back and with full vigour. Several things have changed over the past few months. Let me try examplify and then lets try figure out if these changes are quantifiable, just to volumnise the impact of the change :-) ahemmm!! I mean it. Ok, now that you agree/believe now, lets start :-)

Last time since i wrote, loads of things changed. It started snowing here in Budapest much before the season. The impact of my presence. You see?
We Played Snowball on the first day of snow. The very second day, it snowed again. Guess what we did? Yes, right. We played Snowball again. and then, We kept on playing snowball happily ever after. I believe, its exageration, it was not so happy after all.

I had to return from Budapest, cause my visa had expired. I hope people from the Western Countries do not know much about what a Visa is, or how it looks like :-) Sorry, no offenses, i am not under-estimating. This is just giving an idea to others that people in the west are a bit more privileged to move around freely around without the pre-condition of having a VISA to enter a country. Does that make you happy now? I guess so. Ok, lets continue. Where was i?

Yeah, and then i travelled back to Mumbai. It was so very hot there. Not much though, i am used to more. But the transition from - 4 Degrees to 28 Degrees in less than 14 hours caused a bad cold to me. I got over it with a few drinks (pronounce Whisky and Rum). December 2nd 2005, I drank the whole evening, then had food and then again drank and then went to Marine drive with a group of Hungarian friends. We had way too much fun till the late hours of night untill the local Mumbai police dragged us out of the coast. My friends were too imbibed and alien to understand the gravity of the situation. When one of the Police said "Dhakeloon kya samundaar mein", as in "Do i push you in to the sea", i could realise that the Police were on to tasting blood that night.

The next two days followed really bad. I had a bloated stomach and a congested lungs. I neglected food. Unfortunately, I took to Diarrhea instantly. So much so, that i was bedridden in the Hospital for 5 days all by myself. One of my female colleague, Nishida(an Indian would have got a name Nishita. She sounds more like Japanese. Well, she has her share of this crap very often :-) ) and her husband helped me reach the hospital and get admitted when i was still at work. After that, for the next 5 days, there was no one who reached out to me. Out of the blue, i had a saviour. She was a very charming and beautiful damsel (I spoke to her first, realised later :-) ). She spoke to me on those lonely days. and even later and later. I don't know how she is now, or where she is, but she definitely meant a lot to me. I am not sure, if she ever realised that.

I was there at home with my parents for during the new year. A load of goodies happened to me then, i was not believing my fate. I visited Jaipur in between for a friend's Wedding. For a change, i continued with my work at Mumbai :-)
Usual Bullshi* at the workplace. Your manager telling you how you can improve, or what you are supposed to do. Nothing new to me. I have taken this crap for 6 years now, i am sort of immuned to this.

I was doing photography for so many years now, but had no online space. Now i can flaunt some of them, cause i burnt some of my paper photos to CDs (I would ideally like to take a lesson on burning CDs. But for now, i will try to enlighten everyone in this short time and space. Well, this is a very unusual process. if you are in to high level Organic chemistry, you understand it. You burn the paper photos with certain oxidants under fixed temperature and pressure constraints in an adiabatic environment, and the end-result is, you get the photos copied in CDs). Here are only some of photos from the huge collection that i have in Paper.


My parents wanted to get me married. Think, they want to have grandkids. Dunno how to contribute towards that. I am single and desparately looking, not to have kids though :-)

Met a lot of new colleagues, reconcilled with old ones. Changed three rented apartments. Met my old-time college buddy-Roomie Ujjal after about 6 years of a hostile relationship. We had a gala time during the weekends while in Mumbai this time. I still remember the days when our duo used to be the terror of the Hostel.

I bought a new apartment for myself in Mumbai. I am planning to go back this time to ornate my home with the best of my all collections.

And here i am back in Budapest since the past 1.5 months, doing nothing much. Eating-sleeping(alone)-Eating.

Things didn't change much in the past few months. The trees had come up with new leaves after they shedded in late autumn. It was all colorful last year, now the trees look all green. What else? Vijay became the project lead after Archana, Seema smiled as always, Sagar learnt Dotnet, Nishida's Husband joined her company, Prasanth became a guaranteer for my loan(people are indeed courageous), Rajneesh decided on a transfer, Asif changed location, Harsha never wrote back to me, Some eyes always were fishy, Someone special called to say "Helluuuu", Panda put on more weight, so has Rinkle, Rinkle left for the UK, Bhombol got married, Piklu changed company, Satish got a job after fighting for 3 years, Most of my folks in US got to their last year of PHD and i am still in that old crammed workplace. The hatcheries close to you all might have bred 17379309.. or more number of chickens, cause we just started having more chicken after the bird flu confusion died out; the Girl-Cow next door has a new calf. Its still a suckling; The hens have been laying incessantly; Its Spring now, the girl next door has started to bloom like the flowers in the fields. Everyday she tries out new outfits with lesser amount of clothings in them; The artics are melting, ozone is depleting, dunno what else to discuss. Dunno, if you have changed, i didn't. Over the past few months, i Loved, i Conquered(don't get ideas), i Lost, I Learnt, But i am still Loving. I won't stop. Fancy joining me? Yes, i am asking you, dumb as*?