Being in an IT consultancy company for 7 years now, i have got several forwarded emails where "Users" show off their lack of mind to customer care or call centres. I have always dreamt if i could be a real "dumb user" (What an Unusual Fantasy!!). I plan to be so much dumb, that the customer care professional who handles me, goes back to his/her friends and laughs their heart out. And finally, i do it. I think, i made this guy's day. Check it out for yourself!!
This is about a dating portal in India, where from people choose girl/boy friends or their soul-mates. I had been to one of them recently. I landed on to the payment page, and didn't feel like proceeding, after seeing the humoungous amounts for a paid membership, that too in Dollars. I shifted my attention towards other windows in my computer, the payment page remainded unattended. As, i was there in the payment page for more than 5 mins, a Customer Care Professional came by to help. The rest of the Journey is hilarious.
To maintain confidentiality, the names of the people, places and objects involved have been changed. Nonetheless, the author has given every bit of effort to keep intact, the whole charm of the conversation.
Ramy: Welcome to YourFunDate.com. I am a Live Help Operator. How may I help you today?
you: hello
Ramy: Hi
Ramy: Are you interested in Paid Membership?
you: yes, i am
you: but why am i getting the amount in dollars?
Ramy: Where are you residing?
you: india of course
you: i go around travelling a bit
Ramy: Your FunDate ID pls?
(My response is Censored to Maintain Privacy)
you: But i do not have a credit card
you: i wish to use my icici bank account to pay, is it possible?
Ramy: Do you have debit card?
you: no
you: i have an ATM card
you: i didn't change it for a debit card
you: someone told me that its risky to have one. Especially, when people are doing "Phising" and like things.
Ramy: In which city are you residing?
you: Mumbai
you: i belong to Calcutta though
you: kharagpur, to be precise
Ramy: You can make the payment in our Mumbai office
at the following address
Ramy: YourFunDate.com,
Ramy: 505, Centre Point,
Ramy: Andheri-Kurla Rd,
Ramy: Near Kohinoor Continental Hotel,
Ramy: Andheri East,
Ramy: Mumbai - 400 059.
Ramy: mumbai@YourFunDate.com
you: why cannot i pay, using the Internet?
you: say, if i can use my friends' debit card
Ramy: You can make the online payment using your credit card or debit card
you: my friend has one, can i use his?
you: i asked him today
you: he is willing to lend me for this purpose.
Ramy: Then you can make the payment through them
you: how about the dollar thing? Why is the payment showing in Dollars?
Ramy: From where are you accessing the site now?
you: my computer, offcourse!!
you: its a global support machine
Ramy: At present are you in india?
you: no
Ramy: Kindly note that the payment details will be shown in dollars if you access it from outside india
you: ah!!
you: when will it be shown in Indian rupees?
Ramy: If you access the site from india, then it will be
you: how does ur website know that i am outside India?
you: its me who told u, if i didn't tell you, how would you know?
you: first i thought, it was showing me dollars because of my overseas location. I changed it back to mumbai then
you: But, still its showing me in dollars
Ramy: Kindly note that the payment details are shown based on your IP address
you: what is my ip address?
you: God!! how do i change it now?
Ramy: Sorry! it cannot be changed
you: why do you think so?
you: i thought i can change my address anytime. Did you not change address anytime?
you: sorry, i am not quite following you
you: can you be a bit fast, i am feeling sleepy
Ramy: Sorry! the ip location will be displayed according to place from where you access the site
you: Now i am worried. I wonder, how did you get my address? How did you know which place i am accessing the site from
you: i didn't mention it anywhere in your website
you: Hello Ramy, i am having a bit of jet-lag
you: can you be a bit faster, thanks
Ramy: It will be displayed according to the location you access the site
you: did you like hack my computer to know my location information?
Ramy: Can you please be clear
you: I wish i could request you, the same
you: I am a bit confused now.
you: Can you please tell me, how to go about changing my address
you: i am sure there must be a means in the site to change the address
you: my friend did it once. He categorically mentioned it to me before.
you: Huh!! You cannot fool me with your tricks. I am Darn Sure, the address can be changed.
Ramy: Sorry! it is not possible to change it and we dont have any idea in this regard
you: god!! what kind of website is this? in icici.com site, i change my address whenever i changed place
you: and its me who always requests for an address change, they never know where i am using their website from
Ramy: You can change the residence address in the site, but your ip address details cannot be changed
you: so, who can help me change the ip address?
you: do i have to write to customer services?
Ramy: Kindly note that the ip address will be displayed according to your location
you: You have told this thing to me before, several times. Please tell me something new.
you: but there should be a way to change it right?
Ramy: Sorry! The ip address cannot be changed, as it is displayed according to the location
you: I am a bit worried now
you: I have such an address which cannot be changed
you: Thats sounds very weird to me
you: and it depends on the location, uh!!
you: what do i do now?
you: how do i pay for the membership in Indian Rupees?
Ramy: You can make the payment through your friends or relatives residing in India to make the payment in INR
you: Thats bad
you: This whole dating thing is pretty private to me. I don't want to announce it to all my friends and relatives
you: and at the same time, i need to Pay for this membership. I am getting older now
you: I need to find a girl for me
you: do i write to customer services,if they can help?
Ramy: You can also send the payment to our branch office in India
you: Through post, you mean?
Ramy: yes, you can send it through cheque, DD or MO
you: ok, great
you: One last thing
you: Can i ask you a favor?
Ramy: Yes, tell me
you: thanks
Ramy: Welcome
you: May be you are that guy, who breaks the rules just once. Can you not get my work done somehow. I mean, get me membership by paying in Indian Ruppes now?
you: I mean, my cheque will reach india after a long time, if i send through post
Ramy: Sorry!! You can ask your friends or relatives to make the payment on behalf of you
you: Know what? I have to write emails to a girl i like in your website. She is pretty cute. I fear, i might lose her
you: In these disastrous circumstances too, You seem very tough on me.
Ramy: You can upgrade your profile and contact all the interested members
you: thats what, the problem is. its taking time for me to upgrade my membership.
you: you understand, right?
Ramy: Yes, but we can only guide you in making the payment
you: ok, i will write to my relatives. Let me see, if i can get a girl friend. Its so tough to chat with someone from ur website
Ramy: Once you become a paid member you can contact all the interested members
you: Thank you for your time. If i need your help, i will write to u
Ramy: Welcome
Ramy: Thanks for using our service!!!
Ramy: Please do not hesitate to contact us at anytime. We are here 24 hours a day, 7 days a week.
you: But how?
you: how do i reach you?
you: you must have an email address
you: oh, i remember now.
you: so next time, i have to wait for 5 minutes at the payment page, before i get hold of you, right?
you: and i ask for Ramy? What is your full name, again?
Ramy: You can also click on Live help at the top right side of YourFunDate.com page to chat with us
Ramy: I am Ramy
you: but I have a problem. i don't want to explain this whole scenario to anyone from scratch again
you: its cumbersome. Can you prepare something like a case-file?
Ramy: You can contact us at anytime
you: may be i will save this whole chat somewhere, and then next time i speak to any of your customer care officers, i just copy-paste it. what do say? good idea?
Ramy: You can do it
you: what is your email id? where are you chatting from now?
Ramy: Chennai, India
you: it must be quite late there
you: i am feeling very sleepy now. Are you sleepy too?
you: Chennai is a nice place. i have been there. Only Summers and Winters are not good there. And it has two rainy seasons. Rest of the year, its good out there.
you: Its very beautiful. I like ur place
you: have you been to kharagpur, i was born there. I grew up as a kid in that town.
you: its a nice place too
Ramy: Ok fine
you: Doesn't look like, that you are typing really fast. I have to say that You are very slow
you: or are you chatting with many friends at the same time?
Ramy: We are chatting with many members now
you: Oh Good. I learnt typing, 3 years back.
Ramy: Ok
you: you continue chatting with your friends. I have to go to sleep now
Ramy: Thanks for using our service!!!
you: Yeah, it was not that great though. It was of no use to me after all.
you: You have a good night
Ramy: Please do not hesitate to contact us at anytime. We are here 24 hours a day, 7 days a week.
Ramy: Bye
you: yes yes. no problems. I will ask your service, if i am in problems again
you: you are very nice
Ramy: You are always welcome
This is about a dating portal in India, where from people choose girl/boy friends or their soul-mates. I had been to one of them recently. I landed on to the payment page, and didn't feel like proceeding, after seeing the humoungous amounts for a paid membership, that too in Dollars. I shifted my attention towards other windows in my computer, the payment page remainded unattended. As, i was there in the payment page for more than 5 mins, a Customer Care Professional came by to help. The rest of the Journey is hilarious.
To maintain confidentiality, the names of the people, places and objects involved have been changed. Nonetheless, the author has given every bit of effort to keep intact, the whole charm of the conversation.
Ramy: Welcome to YourFunDate.com. I am a Live Help Operator. How may I help you today?
you: hello
Ramy: Hi
Ramy: Are you interested in Paid Membership?
you: yes, i am
you: but why am i getting the amount in dollars?
Ramy: Where are you residing?
you: india of course
you: i go around travelling a bit
Ramy: Your FunDate ID pls?
(My response is Censored to Maintain Privacy)
you: But i do not have a credit card
you: i wish to use my icici bank account to pay, is it possible?
Ramy: Do you have debit card?
you: no
you: i have an ATM card
you: i didn't change it for a debit card
you: someone told me that its risky to have one. Especially, when people are doing "Phising" and like things.
Ramy: In which city are you residing?
you: Mumbai
you: i belong to Calcutta though
you: kharagpur, to be precise
Ramy: You can make the payment in our Mumbai office
at the following address
Ramy: YourFunDate.com,
Ramy: 505, Centre Point,
Ramy: Andheri-Kurla Rd,
Ramy: Near Kohinoor Continental Hotel,
Ramy: Andheri East,
Ramy: Mumbai - 400 059.
Ramy: mumbai@YourFunDate.com
you: why cannot i pay, using the Internet?
you: say, if i can use my friends' debit card
Ramy: You can make the online payment using your credit card or debit card
you: my friend has one, can i use his?
you: i asked him today
you: he is willing to lend me for this purpose.
Ramy: Then you can make the payment through them
you: how about the dollar thing? Why is the payment showing in Dollars?
Ramy: From where are you accessing the site now?
you: my computer, offcourse!!
you: its a global support machine
Ramy: At present are you in india?
you: no
Ramy: Kindly note that the payment details will be shown in dollars if you access it from outside india
you: ah!!
you: when will it be shown in Indian rupees?
Ramy: If you access the site from india, then it will be
you: how does ur website know that i am outside India?
you: its me who told u, if i didn't tell you, how would you know?
you: first i thought, it was showing me dollars because of my overseas location. I changed it back to mumbai then
you: But, still its showing me in dollars
Ramy: Kindly note that the payment details are shown based on your IP address
you: what is my ip address?
you: God!! how do i change it now?
Ramy: Sorry! it cannot be changed
you: why do you think so?
you: i thought i can change my address anytime. Did you not change address anytime?
you: sorry, i am not quite following you
you: can you be a bit fast, i am feeling sleepy
Ramy: Sorry! the ip location will be displayed according to place from where you access the site
you: Now i am worried. I wonder, how did you get my address? How did you know which place i am accessing the site from
you: i didn't mention it anywhere in your website
you: Hello Ramy, i am having a bit of jet-lag
you: can you be a bit faster, thanks
Ramy: It will be displayed according to the location you access the site
you: did you like hack my computer to know my location information?
Ramy: Can you please be clear
you: I wish i could request you, the same
you: I am a bit confused now.
you: Can you please tell me, how to go about changing my address
you: i am sure there must be a means in the site to change the address
you: my friend did it once. He categorically mentioned it to me before.
you: Huh!! You cannot fool me with your tricks. I am Darn Sure, the address can be changed.
Ramy: Sorry! it is not possible to change it and we dont have any idea in this regard
you: god!! what kind of website is this? in icici.com site, i change my address whenever i changed place
you: and its me who always requests for an address change, they never know where i am using their website from
Ramy: You can change the residence address in the site, but your ip address details cannot be changed
you: so, who can help me change the ip address?
you: do i have to write to customer services?
Ramy: Kindly note that the ip address will be displayed according to your location
you: You have told this thing to me before, several times. Please tell me something new.
you: but there should be a way to change it right?
Ramy: Sorry! The ip address cannot be changed, as it is displayed according to the location
you: I am a bit worried now
you: I have such an address which cannot be changed
you: Thats sounds very weird to me
you: and it depends on the location, uh!!
you: what do i do now?
you: how do i pay for the membership in Indian Rupees?
Ramy: You can make the payment through your friends or relatives residing in India to make the payment in INR
you: Thats bad
you: This whole dating thing is pretty private to me. I don't want to announce it to all my friends and relatives
you: and at the same time, i need to Pay for this membership. I am getting older now
you: I need to find a girl for me
you: do i write to customer services,if they can help?
Ramy: You can also send the payment to our branch office in India
you: Through post, you mean?
Ramy: yes, you can send it through cheque, DD or MO
you: ok, great
you: One last thing
you: Can i ask you a favor?
Ramy: Yes, tell me
you: thanks
Ramy: Welcome
you: May be you are that guy, who breaks the rules just once. Can you not get my work done somehow. I mean, get me membership by paying in Indian Ruppes now?
you: I mean, my cheque will reach india after a long time, if i send through post
Ramy: Sorry!! You can ask your friends or relatives to make the payment on behalf of you
you: Know what? I have to write emails to a girl i like in your website. She is pretty cute. I fear, i might lose her
you: In these disastrous circumstances too, You seem very tough on me.
Ramy: You can upgrade your profile and contact all the interested members
you: thats what, the problem is. its taking time for me to upgrade my membership.
you: you understand, right?
Ramy: Yes, but we can only guide you in making the payment
you: ok, i will write to my relatives. Let me see, if i can get a girl friend. Its so tough to chat with someone from ur website
Ramy: Once you become a paid member you can contact all the interested members
you: Thank you for your time. If i need your help, i will write to u
Ramy: Welcome
Ramy: Thanks for using our service!!!
Ramy: Please do not hesitate to contact us at anytime. We are here 24 hours a day, 7 days a week.
you: But how?
you: how do i reach you?
you: you must have an email address
you: oh, i remember now.
you: so next time, i have to wait for 5 minutes at the payment page, before i get hold of you, right?
you: and i ask for Ramy? What is your full name, again?
Ramy: You can also click on Live help at the top right side of YourFunDate.com page to chat with us
Ramy: I am Ramy
you: but I have a problem. i don't want to explain this whole scenario to anyone from scratch again
you: its cumbersome. Can you prepare something like a case-file?
Ramy: You can contact us at anytime
you: may be i will save this whole chat somewhere, and then next time i speak to any of your customer care officers, i just copy-paste it. what do say? good idea?
Ramy: You can do it
you: what is your email id? where are you chatting from now?
Ramy: Chennai, India
you: it must be quite late there
you: i am feeling very sleepy now. Are you sleepy too?
you: Chennai is a nice place. i have been there. Only Summers and Winters are not good there. And it has two rainy seasons. Rest of the year, its good out there.
you: Its very beautiful. I like ur place
you: have you been to kharagpur, i was born there. I grew up as a kid in that town.
you: its a nice place too
Ramy: Ok fine
you: Doesn't look like, that you are typing really fast. I have to say that You are very slow
you: or are you chatting with many friends at the same time?
Ramy: We are chatting with many members now
you: Oh Good. I learnt typing, 3 years back.
Ramy: Ok
you: you continue chatting with your friends. I have to go to sleep now
Ramy: Thanks for using our service!!!
you: Yeah, it was not that great though. It was of no use to me after all.
you: You have a good night
Ramy: Please do not hesitate to contact us at anytime. We are here 24 hours a day, 7 days a week.
Ramy: Bye
you: yes yes. no problems. I will ask your service, if i am in problems again
you: you are very nice
Ramy: You are always welcome
1 comment:
I've never heard such a dumb guy before. Please don't even try to mention you are an IT expert nor disclose that we are in the same company too. Shame on you.
If I ever become part of this helpdesk, and you happen to need my service, tell me, I'll apply sick leave for the day, before I really get sick of you.
But it was hilarious, though. :D
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